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Prologue - Some Iberian Mountains
Leading up to 14 September 2024
By Ren Withnell
So the pain in the ass that was Covid seems to have passed - subject to random media hype over the latest strains that may or may not send us back to The Dark Ages anytime soon. The last time we bravely and heroically ventured into the lands where everyone drives on the wrong side of the road was in 2019 (BC(Before Covid)). This being the year 2024 by my calculations it's about time we once again bravely and heroically venture into the lands where the road signs are odd and you can't get a proper cuppa.
Look at 'em all - on the WRONG SIDE!
We are in search of big hills, more commonly known as mountains. Google maps has this "terrain" option and when you select it - it presents an immediate problem. All the serious terrain is nowhere near Calais, there's not much in Northern France at all. It's either a long slog through France to The Alps, a long slog through France to The Pyrenees, or a random selection of hills not mountains in perhaps Wallonia or Central France. Dagnammit.
Any bits of Jolly Foreigner Land near Blighty are flat. Pfffffft.
Yes of course we can get to The Alps. We can get 2 weeks off work, with the associated weekends that's 16 days. It's 850 miles from Liverpool to Geneva (the tip of The French Alps), 1,700 miles return. At 200 miles per day (more than we're comfortable doing, but do-able) that's 8 days to get there and back, therefore 8 days in The Alps. Fine. Great.
If Bogger's lot is anything to go by that's all perfectly fine, good, happy and easy even on Cub 125s. If however you're Sharon (and admittedly me) then 8 days of 200 mile days is not exactly her (my(our)) idea of fun. Even with 8 days of stunning scenery and twisty roads being a nice filling in the sandwich, it's the bread either side we wouldn't look forward to eating.
Yes The Alps are wonderful, it's just getting there and back that's the problem.
You can catch a boat from Plymouth to Santander. And Santander is about 2 hours ride from some very nice mountains - The Picos De Europa as we already know, and The Pyrenees isn't TOO far away. We also know it's an expensive boat ride. And it takes almost 24 hours. And the timings are never *quite* ideal. And we have to get to Plymouth. And Sharon gets seasick. But it does get us very neatly to some mountains.
Admittedly The Picos has a lot going for it too.
We ponder. We discuss. We ponder some more. Eventually after much wailing and gnashing of teeth we take the plunge. One thousand, one hundred, and eighteen pounds, Stirling. 2 motorcycles, 2 people, one inside bunkbed cabin, both outbound and inbound, £1118 all in. This ain't no last minute booking, this is with the early bird discount, this booking is made in February for a September sailing.
I try to console myself by reminding myself it's "only" £559 each. Ouch, oooooh, gnfpht. No it still hurts.
Between times we take a trip to The Highlands with our friends. We take a long weekend in England. And a night away in Wales. Eventually August is upon us and it is now time for me to start flapping appropriately.
We sail on Sunday the 15th of September. This is good because we can take both Saturday and most of Sunday to get to the port in Plymouth - 2 days to travel 300 miles. We source accommodation in Clevedon, more money. Pffft. I make a point of NOT organising anything for our return leg in the UK because we have 2 and a half days to do that and I can't bear to part with any more cash.
But I shall have to part with more cash. Both tyres are, naturally, on that "maybe they'll be fine, but possibly not" tread depth. 2 new tyres. Plus fresh oil and filter. The same thinking is applied to Sharon's bike but not easily. I'm running around frantically 1 weekend before departure trying to get a rare 150-60/17 Michelin Pilot Street Radial fitted to Sharon's rear wheel. By the skin of our teeth I tell ya...
The plan is to go to The Pyrenees. We had the same plan last time but the weather got in the way hence us discovering The Picos. As I watch the weather in the weeks leading up to our adventure it seems The Pyrenees is ALWAYS wet and Central Spain and Northern Portugal is mostly dry. I save the position of lots of campsites in The Pyrenees to my Google maps. Cautiously I also add a handful of campsites in Central Spain and Portugal, just in case like, as a contingency like.
Hmmm, is the Pyrenees a good idea?
As the departure approaches I'm in hyper-flapping mode. I constantly check for punctures, have I got the tent pegs, have I got my passport and my log book and my insurance, should I defrost the freezer while I'm away, who's going to feed the cat? Oh hang on I don't have a cat. I'm bordering on paranoid and stressing pointlessly.
Then. Well of course. Pfffft. Bloody mother ends up in hospital. 3 days before departure sees a poop-tonne of messages and calls. I shan't explain the details but as each hour passes I can see my holiday slipping from my fingers and the growing notion of spending my precious holiday on a ward. Oddly I've been fretting so much the thought of not going on holiday feels less painful than I expected.
Long story short - "You go, I'm safe here..." - I don't need asking twice. We're off, we're going, we're blummin' well doing this. Let me just check the paperwork once more.
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Prologue - Some Iberian Mountains
Organising a simple 2 week bike tour should be easy peasy. Watch Ren make this simple task as difficult as possible.
Reader's Comments
ROD¹ said :-
This all sounds like a great plan. Can I look forward to this write up?
I also planned a European trip for September, luckily I did not book anything as it did not go to plan.
11/10/2024 18:21:39 UTC
Upt'North ¹ said :-
I hope the not quite so wet worked out.
My experience of the Costa da Morte is it can be relatively damp.
Looking forward to more.
That crossing gets more expensive every year. But then again what doesn't.
Upt.
11/10/2024 23:31:35 UTC
Ian Soady¹ said :-
The Spanish side of the Pyrenees is wet as it's the side that gets the prevailing south-westerlies. The French side on the other hand is in the rain shadow so drier. And of course it's France with the brilliant Tour de France passes like l'Aubisque.
But I look forward to your (mis)adventures.
13/10/2024 10:27:17 UTC
Ren - The Ed¹ said :-
ROD - you can look forward to this write up however the BAT team cannot be held responsible for any disappointment or sense of failure due to my incompetency. Are you able to inform us why your potential European expedition did not come to fruition?
The Costa de Morte - The Coast Of Death? I've googled it and it is a thing Upt', but the name is not what I'd describe as "enticing".
The problem with the French side of The Pyrenees Ian is that it's further from the ferry than the Spanish side! You shall have to wait and see where we made it to...
14/10/2024 08:03:00 UTC
ROD¹ said :-
We were loosely planning a trip down through France, across the Picos, down through Portugal, in to southern Spain, up the Mediterranean coast and back up through France.
My wife has had back problems on and off for years and this condition is not improving with age.
The end of August she could not get a leg over the bike, but we thought it may improve.
About one week before we planned to depart her back had improved, but not up to thousands of miles of pillion travel.
The offer was made that I should go on my own, but after much thought we decided to take my wifes car and visit her sister in Spain. After a quick trip to Halfords (don't tell Upt') for oil and filter ect the car was serviced and ready to go.
So although not a bike trip, but we did get away with a drive through France and into Spain and a return journey through France.
14/10/2024 18:50:51 UTC
Ren - The Ed¹ said :-
Well I'm glad you got away and had a break, but yeah shame about not using the bike. Blummin' backs! They're a pain in the ass... no wait... they're a pain in the back. When Sharon had a tumour in her back I offered to do the surgery for her. I mean it can't be that complicated can it, it certainly can't be any more complex than doing the valves on a CB500X. She turned me down muttering something about me not being a surgeon and my poor hygiene habits. I offered to wash me hands first and wipe the grease off my tools. Pffffft.
15/10/2024 07:12:02 UTC
Upt'North ¹ said :-
Halfords!
Never! Never! NEVER! Said in a very Paisley'esque way.
Although I sometimes wish there was one within 50 miles. Not a Paisley.
When I posted the review on untrustworthy.com the b......s came back to me to say they were really sorry and would rectify the situation. 6 weeks on nowt, not even a text, email or a kiss me arris. Nowt.
B......s.
Car journey you say?
Upt.
15/10/2024 10:05:35 UTC
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