Home
Travel StoriesSome Iberian Mountains
The Beginning Of The Misery
Ride Date 26 September 2024
By Ren Withnell
Holy moly! It didn't half rain last night and as I stir this morning it is still coming down. There's dampness all around. I'm dry, the sleeping bag is dry and most of the kit seems "damp air moist" rather than wet. It takes a great deal of energy to pull myself together and get up to make a soggy brew which I drink in the sodden porch of the tent while Sharon mumbles and moans that everything is wet. It's not wet, just damp dear.
Hmmm. Some things are wet. Under the sleeping mats is wet. The porch floor as we go in and out is now an indoor pool. Decamping is proving to be a miserable experience. We put wet things under the eaves of the toilet block in the hopeless hope they might dry out a little before we pack them. The bikes are wet. Our kit is cold and damp. Sharon is trying to make herself look like a lady but eventually gives up. It takes us 2 hours of soggy gloom before we even try to put things onto the bikes.
A bit more than "damp".
We are walking in the wet as well.
Yup. As we load up the rain lightens then eases off. As we pass reception the sun is making feeble attempts to appear.
Santander's ferry port is a godawful place to get to. When you're already grumpier than normal it's even worse. Google maps will have you believe it's a 10 minute 3 mile ride. Reality tells me it's half an hour of traffic, wet roads, lunatics in cars and on scooters, suicidal pedestrians and uninterpretable street layouts. I'm trying to follow sat-nav but I'm starting to believe Google wants me to die.
Can we cross this junction? I don't ####ing know! We want that street, but does that mean no entry? Sorry Sharon we'll have to U-turn on this pedestrian filled narrow lane. Holy poop! When I finally spy the Brittany Ferries logo my heart skips a beat with joy, no, sorry, relief.
Easy peasy? Nope.
Jesus Christ I wish it was like Rosslare. A simple harbour, a tiny town with one simple ordinary road leading from the harbour to the countryside, and not much else. We are plenty early, we park the bikes by some kind of cafe in the port and - this is how bad I feel - we spend money, real money on food and a drink. It ain't cheap but I don't care.
Let's get booked in now I've wound my neck in. A queue. We wait. We start the bikes and shuffle forwards a few more feet then wait. We wait. We start the bikes and shuffle forwards a few more feet then wait. We wait. We start the bikes and shuffle forwards a few more feet then wait. I can see a problem here already.
"Sharon! Get off and push." I can all too easily see a flat battery coming soon. I have my booster pack but I don't want to use it. We wait. We push the bikes forwards a bit then we wait. We wait. We push the bikes forwards a bit then we wait. We wait. We push the bikes forwards a bit then we wait.
Eventually we get through booking in. We ride a hundred yards into another queue. We wait. We push the bikes forwards a bit then we wait. We wait. We push the bikes forwards a bit then we wait. We wait. We push the bikes forwards a bit then we wait. This is bloody ridiculous.
Eventually we get though passport control. There are perhaps 100, maybe 150 motorcycles and endless lines of cars and camper vans. We wait. We push the bikes forwards a bit then we wait. We wait. We push the bikes forwards a bit then we wait. Bored bored bored, even mindless violence seems boring today (google it).
We wait. And wait. Then wait some more. After waiting we are instructed to wait.
The motorcyclists are herded under a large canopy, although there's not enough room for everyone under the canopy and it looks like it might rain again. We talk to a few bikers, they've had a good time too, but they're bored. Another chap seems inexplicably happy, even he mentions he's ready for a brew and a sleep in his cabin. Another fella seems to be making some kind of money out of bringing friends to Spain and showing them "The Picos". I'd like to figure out how he's doing that.
Ooooh! We're off, kit up quick Sharon! We all move toward the exit en masse, only for a handful of riders to be allowed on board. Engines off. Ooooh! We're off, kit up quick Sharon! We all move toward the exit en masse, only for a handful of riders to be allowed on board. Engines off. Yup, there's a KTM with a flat battery. I'm about to help but he's inundated with jump leads and booster packs before I even step off the bike. Don't fancy his chances when it's time to get off at the other end.
Repeat, repeat, repeat.
"Errr, erm. Excuse me".
"Errr, yeah?"
"Are, erm, are you called Ren?" This is it folks, amid this bloody awful day I'm having fame is finally coming to me. I'm going to be RICH I tell ya RICH!!!
"Yeah?"
Jamie is a reader of this here blog. And would you believe it - he's on a bicycle! Yes yes he does have a motorcycle or two but he's cycled all the way down through France and Spain - blummin' impressive I tell ya.
Jamie looking trim after cycling from Blighty!
Between waiting and shuffling we exchange tales and stories. I'm ashamed to say it but I think he's a little star-struck. Poor chap, they always say you should never meet your heroes and he's probably coming to realise I'm just a regular plonker rather rapidly. I'm probably as disappointed as he is - he's not going to sponsor me or become my benefactor - he's a supply teacher not a wealthy tycoon and he doesn't work for a motorcycling magazine. Lovely chap though.
Sharon and I are among the LAST group to board. The bikes are strapped down and we grab our overnight bags and find our cabin. What a blimmmin' crappy day we're having. Brittany Ferries need shooting for their disorganisation today. It's been chaos.
Out on deck we wave goodbye to Spain. Yes OK today's been a bit rough but considering the sensational adventure we've both enjoyed we can forgive today's minor hiccups. We are alive and well and we have the comfort of a cabin for the next, what, er, 22 hours? Something like that. Adios Espana, thanks for the fabulous experience.
Adiós España, gracias.
As we head out to sea we go below deck. Hmmmmm. It's getting a little choppy out on the open ocean.
When I was a young boy my family and I crossed the Irish sea on turbulent night. My brother and I ended up having a puking competition over the side of the vessel, along with perhaps another 100 poor souls. Since then I've had many a crossing with only a hint of queasiness that soon passes. Sharon on the other hand is usually sea sick and she's pouring medication down her neck.
Ahh. Natch. Urgh. Mmph! I ain't feeling all that good. Er Sharon, could I have some of your meds? I feel awful now. Look at the sea, but it's going dark and not helping at all. Oh bejeez, I'ma gonna hurl. Keep it down boy, hang on. Up---down---UP----down, urrrrgh. I'm going to the cabin in case I puke.
In the bed I feel rough but tolerably so. OK. I got this. I reckon I'll go for a walk. 50 paces down the corridor - NOPE! I return to the bed rapid style. Mmmpffft. Urgh. Later Sharon and I go for food. Somehow, god only knows, she manages a whole meal but I can barely face bland chips. MMpffht, Uuurgh. I'm going back to bed.
I'm tossed across the corridor and into the stairwell, clinging like a drunkard to the banister. UP!--- down--- UP---DOWN--- crash bang. A trolley rattles by me unattended. This is turning into one hell of a crossing.
When I finally and mercifully reach the bed and lie down my ailments ease from horrendous to unpleasant. I lie there and think of my dad. He warned me of this crossing many times, his score is - Bay of Biscay 4, Dad nil. My score is Bay of Biscay 1, Ren 5. I suppose I've just been lucky so far. The whole cabin shudders and rattles as another freak wave bashes the hull.
It's only 2200, there's another 13 hours of this. Good god it can't last that long. Please lord don't let this misery last that long...
Advertise here - contact ren@bikesnadtravels.com
Prologue - Some Iberian Mountains
Organising a simple 2 week bike tour should be easy peasy. Watch Ren make this simple task as difficult as possible.
Easing Into The Trip
After plenty of flapping and fretting Ren can calm down and start to enjoy the ride. It's a simple journey today with no purpose other than getting closer to the forthcoming ferry.
Onto The Ferry
Ren takes a simple short trip and turns it into an unnecessarily arduous ride to the ferry. Then all the Dynamic Muppets have to do is get on the ferry. Should be easy - right?
Off The Ferry And Into The Affray
It's all waiting and chaos, confusion and queueing - and that's just getting off the ferry. Despite being in Spain the evening has a very English feel with an English friend.
The Wonder That Is Riano
What started out as a good day turns into a really good day. There is of course a mishap and some moaning, otherwise so far so good. What's the catch, there's gotta be a catch.
Feeling Lucky In Riano
Gird your loins dear readers - Sharon and Ren are accidentally having another "really good day". There's a glitch in The Matrix, buy a lottery ticket, this is a one time only special deal. Normal misery will return soon surely.
Same Peninsula Different Language
It's time to leave the beauty of Riano and head into the "Yellow Country". There's potholes and Ren making an ass of himself. Nothing new then.
Dull Roads And Strange Accommodation
There's plenty of scenery but the ride is not so interesting today. The accommodation is unexpected in both good and bad ways.
Excellence In Its Own Way
More Mountains! The Serra da Estrela provides a wiggly squiggly experience that's similar yet different to many other mountainous regions. The Dynamic Muppets get to ride and relish around.
Dams And Delights
As the Dynamic Muppets start their return leg Portugal has more scenic delights in store. Ren is still facing going cold turkey without tea - poor poor Ren.
Tea Is Tea, Even If It's Poor Tea
The morning is all about the desperate search for real tea. The afternoon would have been fine if Ren's wallet hadn't been opened so vigorously.
A Dull Day Here Is Better Than Home
The surroundings are great, the riding is fun, the town is lovely. This isn't the best day of the trip so far but Ren is just a miserable fool.
Back To Santander
One last day on the road for the Dynamic Muppets - luckily it's an good one with easy miles and sensational scenery. Fear not - the night is not without its woes.
The Beginning Of The Misery
Ren is not having a good day at all. He's trying to stay positive by clinging to the memory of an excellent adventure and the handrails. I'm sure you'll all enjoy sharing his distress.
Reader's Comments
Upt'North ¹ said :-
Can anyone inform me why us lot endure wet, cold, hot, slippy, dangerous luigi's in Fiat's, incompetent ferry torture, potholes, high seas, puke and the groping by fanatical followers to get to somewhere?
No, thought not. Throw in a tent and a baked bean supper and I would need all rope, belts and sharp implements removed from my person. Throw in no alcohol.....no, I'm being silly now.
Like you pair of rascals it seems everyone's been warned of the trip from hell which is the England - Spain ferry. Thankfully our one and only trip on the voyage of torture was smooth, but a two nighter south was purgatory, no, PURGATORY.
I bet your next installment restores your/our faith in riding, blue skies in blighty, warm air, birds singin, 150 mpg and zero traffic?
Ferries, meh.....High seas, meh.....
The best journey to Spain/Portugal for us was riding through Europe but you need a lot of time or very long days, but thinkin about it I think that involved the Ijmuiden ferry, pre butler,......meh.
Upt.
27/03/2025 09:20:39 UTC
Ren - The Ed¹ said :-
OH the reason why we endure such trials and tribulations?!?!
When many of us spend 5 days a week 48 weeks a year doing dull things to make people we don't know nor care about richer then even trials and tribulations seem like "fun". Plus enduring such horrors allows us to see the wonderful things we have seen on this trip.
Now if Sharon was suitably wealthy... let me see. We would have the bikes "transported" down to Spain by our minions. We would fly to Spain in our private jet then collect our bikes. If the weather was poor we'd take a short pootle to some boutique hotel and settle in until the weather improves. We'd then slowly explore, ensuring to stop at many cafes and dine at fine restaurants. We'd stop in 5 star accommodation and have minions check the bikes over.
Would I enjoy that? Yes, indeed I would - for a while. I wonder though if I'd miss the challenge? If something is TOO easy then where is the reward for your efforts. I would like the opportunity to find out though.
As for a butler. Pffffft
28/03/2025 07:57:12 UTC
Bigngreen said :-
Best remedy I ever heard for sea sickness was to sit under a tree.
29/03/2025 14:22:09 UTC
Ian Soady¹ said :-
Tee hee.
29/03/2025 14:51:42 UTC
Sharon said :-
It really was rough.
Walking around was quite difficult and you needed to constantly grab onto rails, or anything else available, as the boat lurched this way then that.
The most stomach churning moments were when a wave would smack into the front of the hull, resulting in a forward, then backwards jerk together with a side to side swipe, akin to being inside a washing machine.
Not many folks could withstand such a onslaught.It took a few people off their feet and some of the falls looked frankly painful.
The real danger came in queuing for the food. There was nothing at all to hold on to once in the queue. The only thing you possessed to stay upright and ride this bucking bronco was to have faith in your sole. That's right sole, not soul because the only thing keeping you upright was them there soles of your shoes sticking to that deck and your own unique ability to balance.
Unfortunately the guy ahead of me didn't possess either of these necessary skills to survive the food queue.
He so nearly made it, there he was right before the chef ready to announce his belly desires and then just as he opens his mouth we are side swiped by a particular impactful wave. The guy is hurled backwards, all the way out of the restaurant. One second he was there and then poof he was gone.
The chief exclaimed, "OH MY!!" and I had to stuff my hand across my mouth to stop my laughter erupting.
I know, I know I probably shouldn't have found it so funny but never ever have I seen anyone propelled backwards so fast before in my life. It really was something to behold.
The poor guy never did reappear. I think his reverse speed opened up a portal and he was transported into another dimension.
30/03/2025 02:59:20 UTC
Upt'North ¹ said :-
Thanks for the titter me duck.
I almost spat me tea out.
We haven't had a rough journey on the Ijmuiden or Bilbao routes but when the Newcastle ferry used to go to Bergen we travelled over one summer many years ago, you were probably still at school.
Anyhows, I woke up in the middle of the night to find the lights on and Er'Indoors was packing frantically, exclaiming we were all going to die.
My first thought was, why do I need neatly folded clothes and my razor if I'm going to die? Once almost awake I felt the ferry apparently coming to an abrupt halt and dipping violently at the front, before moving forward a few more yards before stopping again. We were pretty high up and the water was rushing past the porthole. I tried to calm Er'Indoors down and rolled over.
Upt.
30/03/2025 13:11:33 UTC
Bogger said :-
If it rains you can seek shelter. If you're tired you can stop and take a nap. Being on a ship and feeling sick is horrible. There's just nowt you can do about it.
Bogger
30/03/2025 18:52:46 UTC
Ian Soady¹ said :-
I've always found it's worse if you can see the horizon - especially if you're reading a book etc (watching tiktok for our younger readers). I understand it's because of the discrepancy between wht we are seeing directly as opposed to what we see peripherally. As it happens I struggle to read on a train if I'm beside a window.
Having said that, I think in the circumstances described I'd hunker down in my bunk.
31/03/2025 11:44:08 UTC
nab301 said :-
My Sympathies re the bay of Biscay, over the years around holiday time I've heard seasoned travellers talk in hushed tones about previous rough crossings , think positive (we don't know yet) but presumably you didn't arrive down in the car deck when disembarking and find a car parked on top of you bike ....
Nigel
31/03/2025 13:13:59 UTC
Ian Soady¹ said :-
On the other hand, if you can take the buffeting, people have often seen whales from the deck of the ferry. Might not make up for the pain however.
31/03/2025 16:03:57 UTC
Upt'North ¹ said :-
I reckon if you can see Wales off the Bilbao ferry poop deck it's going the wrong way.
31/03/2025 16:23:50 UTC
Ian Soady¹ said :-
Oh, by the way, why do you have those huge UK stickers? All you need is a little blue one at the side of the number plate with a union flag and "UK" on it - the same size as the much lamented Euro / GB emblems. All explained in the link. I understand that we had to go UK because of Northern Ireland whose population should be pleased they have "the best of both worlds" as a previous prime minister put it. Shame the erest of us couldn't continue that privilege.
https://www.gov.uk/displaying-number-plates/flags-identifiers-and-stickers...
31/03/2025 17:15:25 UTC
Ren - The Ed¹ said :-
Ian. Note in your link it clearly states
"Driving in Spain, Cyprus and Malta
You must display a UK sticker to drive in Spain, Cyprus and Malta, no matter what’s on your number plate."
And that is why we both have UK stickers. We did check, more thoroughly than you and many others it seems.
Big? Yes. Oh there is no mention of the required size in the link. There are several other trustworthy sites that do list the size FOR CARS and our stickers are this size. We could not find anywhere listing a minimum size for motorcycle stickers.
As such, belt and braces, we affixed the full size car stickers negating any possible misinterpretation or confusion. No matter what other motoring infractions we unknowingly perpetrated - we had fulfilled this aspect of the regulations to the best of our ability.
31/03/2025 18:02:15 UTC
Ian Soady¹ said :-
Well spotted, as I'd never bothered to check anything except France.....
And of course you'll have masked your headlights to cut out the kick up on the left. Unless your headlamps have a symmetrical beam pattern?
01/04/2025 09:56:14 UTC
ROD¹ said :-
Ian, I have just checked the images from the trip and I could not see any signs of tape on the headlights.
01/04/2025 11:20:11 UTC
Ren - The Ed¹ said :-
No, no tape on the lights - both run "symmetrical" beams if you mean they produce a flat beam with no kick.
Plus we both wear hi-viz when riding anyway so we already had that box ticked. It is also required to carry spare bulbs.. which is a real problem because neither bike has "bulbs" being LED units. The ONLY item I managed to find suggested that as our LED lights have multiple LEDs rather than one LED this is "sufficient". Both the CB500X and Z400 are available for sale in Spain so one can only hope our UK models are equal and therefore homologated for use in Spain.
If anyone has more information with reliable sources - I'd be interested to learn about them.
01/04/2025 12:26:23 UTC
Ian Soady¹ said :-
Of course you were carrying the obligatory breathalysers.....
01/04/2025 14:03:44 UTC
Ian Soady¹ said :-
Sorry, my head's still in France. In any case you might not need them any more even there.
01/04/2025 15:28:44 UTC
Ren - The Ed¹ said :-
Not required in Spain Ian. However I do have a crumpled pair in the shed - I must bin them they'll be what, 10 years old at least now.
01/04/2025 20:55:05 UTC
Name
Comment
Add a RELEVANT link (not required)
Upload an image (not required) -
Uploading...
Home
Travel StoriesSome Iberian Mountains