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Travel Stories5 Fools In South West Scotland
Bungling To The Bungalow
Ride Date 7 June 2025
By Ren Withnell
Why is a bungalow called a bungalow? The builder ran out of bricks and said "Meh, just bungalow roof on it, it'll be fine". Ba-dum - tish.
It's dry. So far. As we roll out the bikes and load up the skies are overcast although the air is warm. None-the-less it seems prudent to apply our waterproof layers atop our regular riding gear. Our first stop is Lancaster Services where we will meet with Mark and Rob. Rik will be joining us tomorrow, he's attending a family wedding today.
A note on Rik. Rik is he of the rather ridiculous 1700cc "Breakout" Harley. I know he ain't rich but he also now owns a rather swish BMW car of some description. At the rear of this car is fitted a towbar. Rather than ride up like a real roughty toughty biker type he's hired a trailer for the week and - get this - is towing his bike up to Kilmarnock. This of course has lead to some teasing.
I do like to tease him about his "pink" Harley. Yes I know it's dark red but never let the truth get in the way of a good story. Well guess what - the trailer company's "colour" is a dark pink which leading up to this adventure has been an excellent source of much further teasing. He's a big lad is Rik, he could easily rip my head off and insert it where the sun never shines, fortunately his sense of humour remains intact.
Rik's "pink" HD and a definitely pink trailer. Oh the shame, the ignomy.
Sharon and I make our way along the M62 and onto the M6. As we approach Preston the rain arrives as expected and we continue regardless. Soon the rain turns from regular rain to fat gobs of deluge and driving conditions are frighteningly treacherous. Sharon is leading and desperately keeps the pace between not being rear ended and not rear ending someone else. It's awful, spray, noise, some cars way too fast others way too slow, it's hard to see our lane let alone the traffic.
Lancaster Services finally appear and not a moment too soon. Mark and Rob wave from the shelter of a canopy and we join then. Sharon is leaking. Badly. Her waterproof pants aren't and one of her Goretex boots is no longer Goretexing. That's bad enough, what's worse is we are still 175 miles from the accommodation. This could be a really truly horrible ride for the poor woman.
After a brew and a chat we kit up and continue once more into the affray. The rain has returned to regular nasty rain and over the next 55 miles it switches between downright torrential and mildly bad. I appear to be mostly dry save for the general feeling of moisture that comes with rain. Sharon must be soaked by now, probably cold and likely rather hacked off with the whole notion of motorcycling.
Just off Junction 40 there's a Greggs. We stop for another brew and to give Sharon a chance to wring out her knickers (calm down at the back) and warm her singular soggy sock with the hand drier. More tea, a quick bite and once more into the affray for another 55 miles.
It's a soggy day with soggy bikes and Sharon has a soggy bottom.
Dumfries Tesco Extra where the A75 meets the A76. They have petrol and they have a cafe for another brew break. Here I look for waterproof pants for Sharon but Tesco don't do them. Sharon ain't dumb though. They do sell socks and they do sell plastic freezer bags. With fresh socks and at least some kind of waterproofing on her feet perhaps the remaining 65 miles might achieve "tolerable" as opposed to horrendous.
With each passing mile from Dumfries up the A76 the weather eases. The rain becomes intermittent and there's even dry patches of road here and there. I stop for a stretch and to check on Sharon - she's still here and still ploughing on and through. She's mustard that girl.
The last few miles to Kilmarnock and the bungalow sees the rain return with vengeance. Mercifully, finally, eventually we pull into the bungalow's driveway and stagger from the bikes. I'm knackered, Mark and Rob look weary so god only knows how miserable Sharon is feeling right now. I hope to god this bungalow is alright otherwise Sharon will be wishing she had never been born.
Within we are greeted by a smart kitchen and a simple selection of basic foodstuffs, and some wine. For a tired Ren and a sodden Sharon this simple kindness greatly lifts our spirits particularly just when they needed a boost. The bungalow is as advertised as well as clean and crisp. Oh sweet relief, oh thank goodness. It is quite a lovely place, praise be.
The bungalow is real, smart and exactly as we had hoped.
Sharon quickly unloads and disappears to get changed into something a little drier. Mark, Rob and I, being only mildly damp take time to sort ourselves out. We diplomatically place Mark in the most distant bedroom as he's a snorer, Sharon and I take a double, Rob takes a double leaving a twin for Rik when he arrives. A further round of tea is created and imbibed, I make a start on the chocolates provided in the welcome pack.
After an hour we're settled in. Sharon would love a bath to warm her bones but alas there are only showers. I persuade her to take a hot shower as it's better than nothing. As she does this Rob hops on the back of my 500 and we ride the 2 miles into Kilmarnock's Tesco to get more supplies. By the time we return Sharon's looking more human, later with food inside her it seems survival is imminent.
Oh what a day!! 230 miles for Sharon and I, Rob and Mark around 210. Rain, awful riding conditions, leaks, and big miles. However the bungalow is spot on, we are fed and watered, and we are safe and well. Sharon has a glass of the welcome wine to "take the edge off", apparently it's very nice. We're Upt' North in June and the evening isn't for going dark, we are all in bed before 2230 and it's still dusk outside. Tired little motorcycling teddies.
By Sharon Parker
I'm up early and we set off in time to meet a couple of our mates at Lancaster service station. It's grey and looks like it may drizzle soon enough. It's not the glorious weather you always hope for for your holiday but it is what it is, so get the waterproofs on and let the adventure begin.
Ren asks me to lead so I say ok. Yes reader I know this is a shock to the system! I have rode this route before and it's also on my satnav but these factors would not usually mean I would be willing to lead but wonders never cease.
The rain comes and then gets heavier and heavier, it's bouncing down now and visibility on the motorway is poor. Well I'm leading on a holiday trip of course it's bouncing down with rain. I'm also unusually cold on this wet but not cold day. I hope I'm not coming down with something because I'm actually beginning to shake. I then realise one foot feels wet. Nooo, surely not?! My Daytona boots never let me down, through hell and high water they have remained warm and dry, a safe haven for my little tootsies.
The rain belts the phone satnav hard - reducing the map size down to tiny. Oh this is not ideal but I can still navigate. I am getting progressively colder as I look at the satnav to see how far I'm away from our destination and I'm presented with a blank black screen. The rain has finally proved to be too much and the phone has closed down completely.
Oh... so now I'm leading with no satnav, but with a wet foot, whilst shivering and barely able to see my way through the torrential rain. Are we having fun yet? Well I'm not crying but I'm not grinning either, this is enduro not funo.
Without the satnav I somehow successfully get us to the services. I get off the bike... squelch... eww... yep my foot is not merely damp is bathing in it's own little boot bathtub. Our friends are already here and they are dry. Seems the rain was just following me. Yes, I know, no surprise there. Looks like my badge of rain dishonour has been restored on this reluctant recipient.
I nip to the toilets and discover why I'm so cold. Not only have I got a soggy foot I have soggy knickers too. Fantastic. Not only have my boots let me down, so have my trusty (were) waterproof pants. I use toilet roll to soak up as much water as possible from my jeans, my knickers and my sock. I may still be wet but wet at this stage feels a great improvement on sopping wet.
I'm hoping it may stop raining at some point so I can dry out. However it's presently still raining, albeit not as hard as before, but the leaden grey skies do not hold much promise. The rain continues to come along for the ride as we head north. I repeat the toilet paper trick on the next stop and continue on.
Next stop Tesco affords hot food and beverages and a dry foot thanks to the purchase of dry socks and plastic food bags to try and keep the new warm dry socks from becoming cold and soggy. I am in surprisingly good spirits. I know that I look like I've wet myself as I stand in the queue to purchase my items. But I really don't care. I would have cared a lot more in my youth. There are many disadvantages about getting older but there are also advantages. The worry you have about how you look and what other people think of you shrinks as one gets older, just like your height.
As we continue on our journey the weather is not being kind. When we stop for a break, so does the rain. As soon as we start the journey again the rain comes along with us. We reach the journey's end and the bungalow that I booked for everyone fortunately exists. I did once book a log cabin that did not exist. It is always a relief to me now to see what I have booked is in fact real.
Not only is the bungalow real, it is also very lovely. It is clean, bright and airy. Each room is themed with a different animal. Ren and I have the Highland cow room. Rob has the stag room. Mark has the sheep and Rik when he arrives will have the Friesian cow.
Our Highland cow room...
Rik's Friesian cow room...
Mark has sheep pillows...
Rob is stag.
I am totally blown away by the size of the welcome pack that awaits us in the kitchen. We have bread, milk, butter, tea and coffee. We also have crisps, chocolates biscuits and wine. On the side is a huge bunch of red roses. It is such a thoughtful gesture and after the long cold wet ride it is a lovely sight.
The very generous welcome pack...
... and flowers
The bearer of these gifts Mrs. Love knocks on the door to check everything is okay and do we know how to use the heating etc. Lillian is a lovely, friendly, warm character and we share a joke about my need for tena ladies due to my wet pants. I thank Lillian for the great welcome pack and she advises me that the hot tub is heated and ready to go. The idea of the hot tub is tempting but I am rather tired and opt for a hot shower instead.
Tena lady best get a shower me thinks
What a day. I can't say I enjoyed it all the time due to the weather but neither could I say I hated it. It was good just to be out of the office, riding the bike and laughing with friends. It would seem I'm getting a little tougher in my old age, just a pity my boots aren't. I am now warm and dry and have good food and wine in my belly. I am definitely enjoying myself now, l am smiling as I roll myself into bed.
Advertise here - contact ren@bikesandtravels.com
5 Fools For Kilmarnock - Prologue
The tales of mishap and trepidation leading up to this adventure is not for the faint hearted. Gird your loins we're only at the planning stage so far...
Bungling To The Bungalow
The first day of the South West Scotland Adventure is a total washout. Ren is moist and Sharon is leaking - and yet it's not all bad at the end of the day.
Reader's Comments
nab301 said :-
Looks like great accommodation, although I've been traumatised by photos of pink trailers and damp clothing!
On a serious note , if you had been camping what would you have done?
Nigel
08/07/2025 12:17:41 UTC
Upt'North ¹ said :-
Motorcycling, great innit, until it ain't.
It's orrible Upt'North, you shudda gone sarff.
Let this be a lesson to all motorcyclists, go south and avoid wetting ya'selves. Oh the shame of it.
On the welcome pack, we'll done to Mrs McRenter, it's a rare thing these days and a lovely touch. In our recent "luxury" self catering in Yorkshire there were 6 tea bags and no milk. Nowt other than tea bags and one bog roll.
Pffffffftttttt.
Upt.
08/07/2025 12:45:41 UTC
Ian Soady¹ said :-
Great welcome and must have added back som of the shine of the trip. At the risk of repeating myself Sharon, why not try the HH bib & brace I suggested to Upt'N to his apparent disgust. I'm sure you're not such a fashion victim as he is and as far as I'm concerned looking "cool" is hugely outweighed by being warm and dry. I used to use them together with a pair of Dunlop industrial reinforced wellies when commuting year round including snow. It was a matter of seconds to emerge when I arrived at work like a Red Admiral from its pupa. I'm not sure all my visitors appreciated the heady aroma issuing from the corner of my office however.
08/07/2025 14:43:33 UTC
Upt'North ¹ said :-
We need pictures!
08/07/2025 16:28:42 UTC
Ren - The Ed¹ said :-
If we'd been camping we'd have been screwed nab301. We have in the past endured leaks and camping and it can be miserable. Sharon's modern take on the situation would be "we're getting a cabin or lodge or BnB or hotel..."
The waterproofs we have are perfectly effective - until they aren't. Her ladyship will not be going for a set of designer sailing trousers, just replacing the affordable and effective over trousers she has. As for the boots I reckon they'll be goretex but I don't know which ones yet.
I can't see Sharon in wellies anytime soon Ian.
As for heading daaan saaaaaaaf to avoid getting wet Upt'? Keep reading our kid, keep reading.
08/07/2025 21:38:44 UTC
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Travel Stories5 Fools In South West Scotland