That Cruiser Thing

Blog Date - 08 August 2013

I was very lucky and privileged this spring. A friend of mine let me ride her Suzuki C800 cruiser style motorcycle. I took the gf and I out for over 2 hours and we covered a range of roads and traffic. Apart from the weather being very cold and quite windy this was the ideal opportunity to get some proper experience of the laid back, easy rider style of bike. I was in fact hoping to do a review of the Suzuki, but upon reflection I can't as riding this style of bike is so completely different from my existing knowledge frame. I can't form a valid opinion of the bike as I've nothing really to compare it with of a similar style. However riding the C800 has been a very valid and worthwhile experience for me.

I've always liked cruisers. When I was a young man I yearned for a big fat Harley just like my "real" biker mate had. The noise of the big V-Twin engine, that wild, dangerous and rough look of the scruffy leather-clad rider. The dream of riding across an endless dusty roads and lonely blondes throwing themselves at me in remote American diners. I'd fallen hook line and sinker for the movie ideal of a biker.

Hell yeah maaaaan...er...gonna take some cleanin that innit?

I promised myself a Harley before I was 25, and failed, miserably. As the years rolled by various ordinary everyday bikes came and went and I learned the whole easy rider thing was not all it was cracked up to be especially in this cold, wet, icy and traffic locked island I call home. I learned the American movie dream is just that, a dream.

Now middle age is upon me. Unlike most mid-life crises men I'm not hankering to be Dennis Hopper in easy rider or Valentino Rossi in a power ranger suit. All I want is the perfect all round motorcycle that does everything well. After 20 years of trying to be fast I have learned that I'm not and riding at a sensible speed is much more relaxing and pleasurable. This is what has lead me back to the idea of a cruiser. My four cylinder sports bike derived Fazer 600 often seems excessive and frenetic whilst travelling at 25 mph stuck behind a line of cars down a busy country lane.

A BIG PHAT Harley. 

Climbing on the C800 the most obvious difference is the weight. It takes much more effort to hoik it up off the sidestand. This is in fact quite a small machine compared with the range of 1500, 1800 and even 2300 cc cruisers that abound. The vast tank between my knees, the wide bars, the barn door screen and the wide seat all make everything seem big. I feel like I'm about to pilot a ship. 

The motor starts easily and although in standard trim the pipes make a polite yet satisfying rumble. There's no screaming with a blip of the throttle just a shudder. With a huge clank into gear, not dissimilar to an anchor rattling up the side of a ship, the motor engages first. With fear in my heart I set off.

Coming off the estate onto the main road I turn left. Not the nimble tight left required but a fat wide arc into the oncoming traffic. I'm used to minute and delicate touches that the bike responds to. This one needs a firm hand and physical input both with my weight and the bars. I regain my side of the road and settle myself down. I make a note to focus. 

No matter how I focus I keep on missing the foot boards. Instinct tells me the pegs should be beneath me yet my legs need to be out before me. I should be high up above the traffic but I'm down low at sea level. My arms are up in the breeze not down below me. It is all so alien and being something of a stick-in-the-mud I'm not enjoying this shock so far. The wind catches me hard and veers me off course, requiring more heaving into the breeze.

I don't think there's anything wrong with the bike. It's me. Perhaps that's the problem with all those motorcyclists who slag off cruisers. They're so different to a typical road bike and worlds apart from a crotch rocket. For so many years and countless miles they've ridden this way and cornered like that and understood a bike should do things in such a manner. When a cruiser doesn't then surely it's the bike's fault? But that's because we're trying to ride it like my all the other bikes we've ridden. The cruiser won't tip into the corner on it's own, it needs to be rolled in. The low revving motor sounds slower but they are quicker than they sound.    

My Fazer behind a big 'ole Suzook cruiser, 1500 if I recall. Spot the difference...

It takes about an hour before I start to settle down on the bike. What I am loving is just cruising through town. The revs even on this comparatively small 800 are low low low. I'm barely ticking over and yet it's smooth to ride. Listening to the exhaust echo off the surrounding buildings is sweet. It's audible and noticeable without being offensive, unlike the screaming revs of a sports bike. I feel laid back and chilled. I have the gf with me so I'm a bad ass biker out on his motor with his chick on the back...innit.

I'm rudely awakened from my romantic notions when I approach a speed bump. I've bottomed out the Fazer before now, how's this low slung belly dragger going to get over this mini mountain? It does just fine, much to my surprise. I'm also starting to get the hang of hauling it around the corners on the estate without running wide. It requires input and movement. This is a more engaging riding style, more involved which is good. I can also see the downside. After a long day around town this would be very tiresome.

Out on the open road the bike feels much more at home. Well...as long as the speeds are kept down. Even with the massive barn door fitted to the front of this bike I can feel the wind and the laid back position is all wrong for fast. At 50, maybe 60 mph it is a delight, above that it's blustery. I know America has 55 mph limits on all but the largest highways, perhaps this style of bike is to suit this speed limit. In that 55 mph sweet spot again I can imagine myself on that dusty road rolling across a lonesome desert. In reality I've a mile of clear road before another 20 sets of traffic lights and roundabouts.

By the end of my ride I've got the suss of the cornering. So much so I've scraped the footboards down quite a few times. This is not an indication that I'm ready to take on Rossi at Mugello, the boards make their delightful scrawping noise without much speed or effort. I do feel more in control and confident now. Which is a shame as the ride is coming to an end.

Both these bikes are 800 Suzukis. Quite different but that's the point. I rode the standard one in the rear of shot.

So what's my conclusions? If I'm perfectly blunt, it's not inspired me to rush out and chop the Fazer in against a Harley or a Dragstar. For me there's no extra fuel economy, no extra luggage space and I thought it would be more comfortable but cruisers are no better or worse. There's no advantage over my regular road bike. I'm pragmatic, looks and style matter little to me especially when parting with cash, it's what it can do.

All that said, I can see the attraction. On anything remotely sporty like the Fazer every crotch rocket wannabe Rossi power ranger will try to race you. Having accepted I'm not fast I don't try any more. On a cruiser the sporty types flash by and leave you alone. It seems that the laid back style means other road users are more accepting of a laid back speed too. 

Then there's the looks. I can appreciate the beauty of a Ducati or Gixxer but the old skool biker in me still loves a big phat cruiser or a lithe minimalist bobber. Biker movies never feature Kwak Ninjas or Honda CBRs, they have Harleys and Indians. I know they're movies and just a dream but is there anything wrong with living a little of that dream? 

I've not dismissed the idea of a cruiser. But until someone makes a super economical motor like Honda's NC 700 and puts it into a cruiser frame complete with luggage (and trailer?) I'll stick with dreaming about small big trailies for now. So...where's me cut off...I'm off out to look "well 'ard" on me 125.

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