Looking across to the snow capped alpine mountains seen from the back seat of a motorcycle

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The Problem With My Bike Shed

Blog Date - 24 September 2011

Oh the trauma of not having enough space and being very tight with money.  

I have a shed.  It's a nice metal shed from Yardmaster.  At 10 foot by 7 foot youd think it'd be plenty big enough for two motorcycles wouldn't you?  10 feet is more than long enough for a bike's length and 7 feet, that's 3.5 feet  of width for each motorcycle.  Well yes, and indeed no.  The first issue is that this shed lives in a back yard, a small back yard.  To get such a shed into the yard the shed runs lengthwise down the yard.  As such the doors are on the 10 foot side of the shed.  So in effect each bike has 7 foot of length and 5 feet each of width.

Bikes are longer than 7 foot.  It does not matter if the bike is several feet longer or just a couple of inches longer, the fact is is that it is too long.  The Fazer is over 8 feet long when I've got the top box on.  And the top box is always on, it's bolted on.  The 125 is just over 7 feet long with it's top box, which is also a permanent fixture.  The Fazer will go in at an angle with a little shuffling and twisting on the centre stand.  This of course block entrance for the 125.  The 125 will go in easily at an angle but then the Fazer has no chance of fitting.

Without getting into complex explanations of bits of wood, corrugated plastic, bodged cladding and technical diagrams, I've extened the shed by another 4 feet.  Unfortunately I've only been able to extend it lengthwise, so now I've 14 feet by 7 feet.  You'd think this would be more than enough.  But because the entrance is still on the side it's still proving a problem to get both bikes in or out independantly.  If I want the Fazer out I have to move the 125 out too.  If I then put the 125 at the far end then I have to move the Fazer to get the 125 out.  DOH!

I have spent the last 3 days playing tetris with motorcycles, workbenches, tools, old bits of wood and piles of old batteries and rags.  It seems whatever I do and wherever I place each and every item there's not happy comfortable solution.  I'm either squeezing past something, climbing over something or I can't reach something.  I'm slowly but surely coming to the conclusion that the problem is not the layout, it's the simple lack of space.

I'm now hatching cunning and devious plans to build some kind of monstrous shed in the back yard.   In Ren's perfect world there will be space for 3 motorcycles.  Each motorcycle can stay in place while another is removed and ridden.  Each motorcycle will have enough space around it to be worked on without disturbing the others.  There will also be enough space for my workbench, my tool chest and all the other sh**e that I seem to collect over the years.  Of course in my perfect world this shed will be smart and unoffensive to the neighbours, will not require planning permission and will be completely secure.

This is all of course a pipe dream.  I'll end up with some bodged up affair made from bits of random wood stolen from bonfires, just enough space for 3 bikes as long as they're propped up in a corner and a leaky roof that drips on anything that can rust.  What I really need is £500,000 to buy a house with a large garage.  To be honest the house could be tiny, I just need a bed, bathroom, small kitchen and somewhere to use my PC.  Of course the garage will be huge.  Then I'd need another £500,000 to fill the garage with bikes then I'd still not have enough room.  There's never enough room.

Reader's Comments

said :-
I can feel your pain... Tomorrow I'll have the fun part of trying squeeze in 4 bikes and a large car. Tetris here I come. Lol
4/5/2017 6:03:00 AM UTC
Ren - The Ed said :-
I think there ought to be a new law - all motorcyclists get extra shed space courtesy of the government. I obviously haven't thought this through properly which makes me perfectly suited for life as a politician.
4/5/2017 9:15:02 AM UTC

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