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Travel StoriesFrolicking In The Flattish Lands
Skeggy Epilogue
Date March 2026
By Ren Withnell
Our trip to Skeggy was wet, cold, dark, and flat. A disaster? Hardly.
The way I see it is there's 2 items to address here - the weather and Lincolnshire.
We can start with the weather. There is nothing any mortal man can do about the weather. Yes yes yes if you're going to go any farther than the end of your street in the UK in November you can't expect, even hope for good weather. British autumns like any other time of year will be wet - the major difference with British weather is whether the rain will be cool, cold, or blummin' freezing. We've gotten wet during any and all seasons. It's a fact of life if you're going to ride a motorcycle in the UK.
See! There was at least some sunshine.
I'm glad Sharon "encouraged" me to get a static rather than go camping - camping would have been truly miserable. The static not only keeps the rain off, it provides the opportunity to get ourselves warm and dry when not riding, as well as get our kit dry overnight too. If we'd have been camping our kit would never have a chance to dry out. Plus with shopping around and being out of season the static cost around the same price as camping nowadays. There really was no sensible reason to camp.
Bigger, warmer, drier, and about the same price as a tent.
Lincolnshire is actually statistically one of the drier areas of the UK. It didn't feel like it when we were there, that's just bad luck for us. Ian Soady said "In fact my overall impression of Lincolnshire was bleakness." It seems we are not the only ones who've endured a drenching while there. Luck, just luck.
What about Lincolnshire as a place to visit?
Regulars here know Sharon and I love a good mountain, even better a good mountain range. Lincolnshire definitely does not offer any mountains at all, it struggles to muster hills. I'd be lying if I said Lincolnshire has it's own beauty comparable to say The Highlands. It does have it's own beauty, just not comparable.
If flat is your thing Lincolnshire has got you covered. Look closely though, there are lumps in the land in the distance.
The beauty is in the sense of space. Here in the gritty grimy bits of Greater Manchester, Merseyside, and Lancashire the towns all merge into one. There is green but it FEELS as though it's town town field town town city town field town. In Lincolnshire it's much more town field field field field town. There's some pretty little towns and villages in Lincolnshire too.
The mostly flat abundant countryside allows for huge skies and views into the distance. I recall one of my first trips to Lincolnshire on a bike. I was looking across the vast planes and thought "oooh there's a church spire over yon". Many minutes later I thought "blimey, that church spire looks the same as the other one". Errrr nope. It was the same church spire. Oooh that reminds me of a joke.
2 cowboys in a big flat expanse of desert, in the middle of nowhere.
One says "wassat over there?" pointing to a shimmering speck across the dusty plains
"I dunno, looks like some fella comin' thisaways"
A good 10 minutes later...
"I dun reckon thas an Injun"
"I reckon you're right, he's a mighty scary lookin Injun too"
Another 10 minutes later they can clearly see it is a native American, and he's armed...
"He's gotten a gun and a Tomahawk, and he looks real angry."
"Shoot him Bill, he'sa gunna kill us!"
Bill points his rifle as the native is now within a few hundred feet, but Bill doesn't pull the trigger...
"Shoot him Bill Dagnammit! We're dun fer ifnya don't!"
"I can't Slim, I just can't" Bill's head drops.
"Why the hell not?!"
"I... well... I've known him since he was only a tiny little fella"
Anyhow. Ahem. Sorry. I hope this humorous interlude helps explain how riding across Lincolnshire (and Norfolk, and The Netherlands) feels. You sure can see things from a long way away, you can still see the same things some time later, things get bigger then they get smaller. This is all subject to being able to see anything through the rain and bleakness if you're unfortunate like we were.
Should you go? Yes. Why? Well it's unlikely to be for the sinuous curves in the roads if you're the knee down type. I'm thinking of the pleasure of avoiding the mains roads and dawdling gently though the back lanes, the bike thrumming quietly as you admire the farms, ponder the crops, saunter through the peaceful villages, and then stop for a glass of pop and some crisps in a country pub.
I'd avoid the coastal towns during the holiday season unless that's your thing, although they proved quite eerie and fascinating in the winter shutdown.
This isn't one of our stand-out trips, what with the weather and the lack of adventure-lifestyle-eyecatching-scenery-social-media-worthy-photo-opportunities. But it was a break and a break I'm glad we made. I'm sure we'll be back in Lincolnshire I just hope the weather is as favourable as the statistics suggest it ought to be next time.
Even Sharon managed to smile through the grim conditions.
Advertise here - contact ren@bikesandtravels.com
Prologue And A Rough First Day
Prudent as ever Ren accidentally stumbles into a super cheap static caravan north of "Skeg-Vegas". All that remains to be done is getting there. If previous experience of heading east is anything to go by - it might not be that easy.
Lonesome In The Flatlands
Ren is hoping for a better day weatherwise and riding-wise too. Ingoldmells is deserted, Skeggy and Mablethorpe ain't up to much, luckily the countryside is better than expected.
Bothering The Locals And "Hills"
The Dynamic Muppets are bothering the good people of Lincolnshire as well as bringing the house prices down. There's tea and cake and sweeties too, hills, and spooky stuff.
Lincolnshire - And Dryness
There's something new in Lincolnshire today - DRY! Contain your excitement folks, Ren has found a cheap cafe and there's an awful lot of flat.
A Rough Last Day
In keeping with the theme of this trip - the return home for the Dynamic Muppets is "wet" to say the least.
Skeggy Epilogue
In the final reckoning was the trip to Skeg-Vegas a rip-roaring failure or and majestic success? Neither - but you already knew that. Still, here's Ren's tuppence on the issue at hand.
Reader's Comments
Upt'North ยน said :-
It's flat innit. As flat a flat fish that just been run over by the number 26 bus.
I'm sure some folk like flat but I think personally I probably endure it to get to somewhere else and Lincolnshire ain't the only flat place; areas of France and Spain seem even flaterer.
Glad you enjoyed it, but you're not selling it to us.
Upt.
14/04/2026 12:32:41 UTC
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Travel StoriesFrolicking In The Flattish Lands