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Going Home From Devon

Ride Dates 15-16 September 2018

By Ren Withnell

It is time to bid our comfortable static caravan farewell. It is time to head north. We're not riding straight back to the grimy streets of Liverpool and Manchester in one day though. Today is Saturday and work does not resume until Monday. I've arranged a stop-off to split the return leg in twain.

This creates a calming sensation within me. We can of course achieve the 270 mile ride home in one hit - we did it coming here and we've done that kind of distance many times. Despite our ability to do this if the chance presents itself I'm much happier with 2 shorter days than one long one. 

Caravan cleaned, bags packed, bikes checked and kitted up we ride out of the caravan site, out of Brixham and out onto the open road. At least the weather is with us once more. It is cool and dry, ideal riding weather. 

Sharon smiling in blue skies as the motorcycles are loaded with our gear ready to leave
Load 'em up 'n head out!

We stumble into The Haldon Grill for a brew. We get talking to a couple of local bikers who have done some serious touring in Europe. They're retired now and talk of going someplace for so long and I have to stop listening because I'm turning green with envy. Don't get me wrong - I have enough money to retire now and go travelling. Well. As long as I die 4 weeks after retirement.

The motorway drags on and on. Eventually I find the turn to cross the river Severn and head towards our digs for the night. So where are we heading? Just shy of Leominster, a place called Bodenham. I've booked us a guest house there for the night. I've made it clear it's not a hotel to Sharon - thankfully.

After a brief rest and a brew at Tintern Abbey it's not long before we're looking for our digs. It is a guest house. A room in a regular home. No reception. No bar. Nothing save for our room and a shared lounge if we so require. I knew it would be like this but I'm sensing a little disappointment from Sharon. 

Tintern Abbey, ruins of the old abbey still standing
Tintern Abbey... well it is actually.

Fear not dear reader, for there is wifi and where there is wifi there is facebook to keep Sharon happy and youtube to entertain me. My how things have changed these last 20 years, remember when people used to actually talk to each other! How quaint. 

The room at the guest house. A regular bedroom
Our digs. Nothing actually wrong here but.

Sharon is sat at the breakfast table, waiting with knife and fork and a deep burning lust for a full English breakfast. She's drooling at the thought of crispy bacon, swollen sausages, fried eggs, mushrooms, hash browns, tomatoes and beans. She'll mop it all up with toast and wash it down with tea and orange juice. I'm sure you've already guessed what is going to happen next?

Sharon looks like she's lost a £50 note and found a sheep dropping. Begrudgingly she eats cereal, bread, toast and tea while we engage with the other couple staying in the other room. They're "alternative" and sometime bikers and like to explore. They were mentally prepared for the continental breakfast, Sharon wasn't. I think she'll need counselling to get over this level of anticlimax.

We load up and head out. There was nothing wrong with our guest house, it just lacked... something... character, spark, bacon? It was exactly as advertised, I guess it just wasn't as I'd hoped or Sharon needed. 

The rest of our journey is also sadly lacking in anything to report of note. I personally view no news as good news. No crashes no punctures no bit's coming off the bikes. So that's that, that was Devon. We're back to our respective homes and normal service will be resumed tomorrow.

This story isn't quite over though. I need to put my thoughts about the trip on here - that'll come soon. 

If you'd like the dynamic muppets to visit your guest house and feed us a big breakfast contact

Riding To Devon It's a long and arduous trip down south to Devon. Or - perhaps Ren is being a drama queen and a bitter cynic.
A Walk Around Brixham Our intrepid motorcycle muppets don't even touch a motorcycle today. In fact it's quite a day for doing things differently for Sharon!
Dartmouth, Slapton and Salcombe South of Brixham the coastal landscape is proving to be quite rural and enjoyable for Sharon and Ren.
The English Riviera - Urgh The dynamic muppets take a haphazard tour of The English Riviera. What will the crankiest two-wheeled twit make of it all?
ButtFast And Buckfast Abbey Ren is having and uncomfortable day. There are things that should not be shared and Ren is sharing them here. Oh dear.
Rocks And A Better Brixham Sharon And Ren scrabble over rocks on Dartmoor and Ren reviews his opinions regarding Brixham
Torquay By Ferry Sharon and Ren bob along the ocean waves to see what Torquay is all about. Context dear boy, context.
Going Home From Devon There's only the small matter or riding home from Devon now for the dynamic muppets. Can Sharon recover from her breakfast tragedy though?
Lessons from Devon Ren is pondering the problems with the trip to Devon.

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